I know (I love you)
by Kinsdura
Summary: Kurapika is positive nothing will come out of a nonsense "sex soulmate" trend, and he is determined to prove it. Except, maybe that was a mistake.


_i've been informed i've been holding out on ya'll so i'm here to deliver the goods_

* * *

For the first time in a long time, Kurapika finally had some down time on his hands and had nothing to do with it. He felt anxious and fidgety because of this, and regrettably remembered Leorio's advice on maybe trying out that curse that predicted your sex life that everyone in the world suddenly got one day.

_Apparently,_ according to the info Leorio had as a part-time lab assistant at his university, anyone at any time could experience a random sexual encounter of theirs from their future life, and could revisit any of those moments until the event actually happened. In addition, anyone seen _in_ these dreams had been dubbed a "sex soulmate" by popular choice of the public.

Kurapika almost wanted to puke at the wording itself, but settled for a hearty eye roll.

Rather proudly, he never saw the appeal in any of this curse business. In fact, he wasn't even interested in having sex at any point in his life ever, so he figured that if that were to stay the case, there would probably be nothing to see if he were to ever try and use the curse. And, if he were being honest, he was curious to try it, even if all that happened was for it to turn up blank.

He smiled then, wondering how Leorio would react if he told him that there was nothing to be found in his future with the thing that everyone else so desperately craved. That in itself was enough to convince him to try it out, because shutting the wannabe doctor up was a personal goal of his every time he saw him.

Kurapika was so confident that he would see nothing in his vision that he didn't even sit down when he decided to activate the curse.

That was his first mistake.

His body felt like it was on fire. Searing and burning but not enough to kill him, only enough to make him gasp for air and have tears streaming down his face instantly. He only got a glimpse of something before his vision returned to the real world, finding that he had collapsed to the ground, body sweating and hands curled into fists. He was panting heavily.

To his fear, he had _felt_ something.

It wasn't until two weeks later that he attempted activating it again, finally over his questioning and self doubt that came with the preconceived idea of himself. He was tired of what-ifs and questions that lead in loops. He wanted answers. And he didn't care what it was going to take to get them.

That was his second mistake.

He found himself with a day off when Melody had softly told him that he needed to go rest, because she said, quite frankly, that if she had to hear anymore of his chaotic heart beats that she would either go insane or kill him, and she didn't know which would happen first. So, to avoid the risk of Melody's wrath, he agreed to take the day off, resolving to straighten out his issues with the curse before he returned to work.

That was his third mistake.

When he finally got ready to activate it again, he had made sure he was sitting comfortably on his bed, with the hope that he could finish the future memory quickly and then move on with his life, but when he faded into the vision, it started right back up from last time. Except this time, he could feel _more._

There were firm, callous hands sliding down his sides, stopping at his hips to hold him down as a warmth enveloped the tip of his length, his form already agonizingly hard, yet the action only had him trying to arch his back, only to be prevented from doing so.

Tears were on his face again, half because of the pleasurable and aching pain, and the other half because of his emotional turmoil. He had been crying before this started. He scrambled to think of what could possibly make him cry in the first place when his partner swallowed him whole, all the way to the base, and his body was wracked with an instantaneous orgasm, his arm flinging over his eyes as his future self tried to hold back his voice and hide his face. He only managed to do the latter.

He moaned piteously as he felt one last, long lick on his girth before he felt the heat vanish from himself completely, and Kurapika could only briefly wonder if his partner had actually _swallowed_ it.

The hands from before began to trail upwards, converging at his stomach to make quick work of the buttons found there and to splay the shirt open when they were done, hot hands then demandingly roaming over his cold torso and making him shiver from just the contact. His panting became worse as he tried to regulate his reactions, to _resist_ the good feelings at the hands of this stranger, but everything they did only made his breath hitch and his voice come out little by little. It was _infuriating._

That's when both hands came up and tweaked at his nipples as the other's mouth found the area where his neck and collarbone met and _sucked._ He felt a strangled cry come out of him as he pressed himself up against the other person, desperate, then, for any kind of friction. _Even if it's with him. Even if it's with these feelings that I shouldn't have for him._

Current Kurapika didn't know what those thoughts meant, having closed his eyes as his future self had done in an attempt to hold down his reactions and give nothing away, but knew his efforts were failing miserably. _But why?_ Kurapika continued to think, _why am I doing this?_

The man above him found another spot on his neck, right near the front of his throat, and began sucklng there as well, hands still relentlessly fiddling with his nipples and pulling every now and then, making him twitch in sync with the other's fingers.

He never knew he was so sensitive until this moment. It was unpleasant to find out only because he thought he was unaffected by such things, only to be proven wrong on what seems to be his first time. Of course, he could never be sure until it happened, seeing as it wasn't uncommon for people's visions to show up in a random order.

This, of course, was still not a comforting thought to Kurapika.

Eventually, the onslaught of stimulation ebbed, and Kurapika was able to take a peek out from under his arm to only have his lower half raised up and his underwear tugged off of him, exposing his length once again to the cool air. He hissed, and he heard a satisfying rumble of laughter from his partner.

He more guessed than understood that his partner was apologizing after that, only groaning in response to ignore the fact that he'd gotten harder _after_ hearing him speak.

He felt weak, in the sense that his body felt heavy and his limbs refused to do anymore than the bare minimum of movement when it came to adjusting himself on the bed. It was a feeling Kurapika was familiar with, like after a long day of training, or even after a long day at work. Sex, he acknowledged, probably worked as both a physical and emotional exhauster.

He felt one of his hands be held by the other man, squeezing gently as he comprehended the first words he'd heard from his future partner.

"You ready?"

"Yes," Kurapika felt his future self breathe, voice desperate. There was a small delay after the man's hand left him when he felt something enter him.

Undeniably, it felt very weird, but also, _very good,_ and he didn't want to ponder too much on why that was. After a gasp from Kurapika, it began to move slowly, increasing speed after some time but never going too fast, and at some predetermined intervals, adding another digit to continue stretching him out. It was the most action that Kurapika presently had ever had down there, and it had him shuddering and gasping along with every movement.

The fingers left him after a bit of that, and Kurapika realized he had closed his eyes again, unfortunately having enjoyed himself too much that he'd forgotten what exactly he'd been doing here. He put all his effort into getting his breathing back to normal. He got enough time to count as being a breather before a hand gently squeezed at his waist to ask for permission; the warmth of it was welcomed.

"Do it," future Kurapika said, the hand responding by trailing up to take ahold of the hand he'd grabbed earlier, squeezing it lightly with affection.

"You sure?"

_"Do it."_

A pause, then slowly, gently, the other man raised Kurapika's hand with his and kissed the knuckles with soft lips.

"As you ask."

Then, he felt on fire again, and the unfortunate imagery of his village burning to the ground arose as a white heat sparked through his body at every move and thrust. He was crying again. He didn't know why he was crying, it didn't hurt, so—

_"Why?"_ Kurapika asked out loud, gripping at the hand that was holding his own. "I don't understand—" A sob disrupted his sentence, and his partner stayed silent as he kissed around his eyes and his face, as if they could get rid of the tears and sorrows he had. As if they could _understand._

"Why did it have to be you? After everything, it _always_ comes back to you!"

And that's when Kurapika saw, for the first time this whole time, a semi-clear picture of the man he had bedded.

Through blurry vision he saw the man had sympathetic look on his features as he stroked at Kurapika's face, gently brushing hair aside, softly comforting him in his wonderfully quiet voice.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

The man looked familiar, Kurapika realized, the facial features striking him as such. Eyes a deep brown that held promises he so desperately wanted to keep; beautifully dark and wonderful despite the concern they showed now. Even the hair was familiar, even though he was sure he'd never seen anyone wear their hair like that. It was raven-like and messy, tangled around his head as it was, bangs framing his forehead where a wrap loosened itself from its place there.

Frighteningly, after a few more murmured words of apologies and flares of pleasure, he realized how he'd recognized the hair, even though he'd only ever seen it slicked back.

The revelation didn't stop the words in his mouth from coming out, only more tears flowing to Kurapika's eyes as he was overwhelmed with emotion from both the future and the present.

"I love you."

"I know."_ I love you too._

"Let me see it."

The man frowned, hand cupping at Kurapika's face.

"You don't like it," was all he said in protest, and Kurapika grasped at the hand cradling his face.

"I have to accept you. For who you are. And what you've done."

"You don't have to," he pleaded then, and it sounded like an old argument, one that had worn them both down but something they knew they had to come to terms with eventually. Fresh tears came to the other man's face now, in what he _knew_ in his bones to be a rare occurrence. "You don't have to forgive me."

Quietly, then: "I just want to move on."

The man above him hesitated, then with resigned acceptance, he reached up and dragged the cloth wrap from off his head, letting it fall as it revealed an intricately patterned cross on his forehead, a clear symbol to who he was. Kurapika's hand had reached up and traced at the symbol, and eventually let it rest on the man's cheek, wiping at the tears there. The man turned to kiss into his palm.

"I love you," he said through tears, and Kurapika's future self smiled through his own tears as well, heart content despite everything.

"I know." _I love you too._

Then there was a flash of white in his vision and his body felt blazing and searing and_ good…_ and Kurapika was awake and back in his room, the light outside gone and his room totally dark. Tears were streaming down his face still as he tried and failed to sit up against his head board, arms too weak to support him at the moment.

As far as he could tell, no one else was awake in the house, which allowed him to finally and fully register, with dawning horror, that his future partner was none other than Chrollo Lucilfer, a man whom he'd hated for years, and a man whom he would eventually love with all his heart.

And that was not a mistake at all.


End file.
